Thursday, July 24, 2008

i am not Tiger Woods

So today was a day I've been waiting for since watching the US Open.  A little background...

Since I've been in Suffolk, I've been Rick's (my father-in-law) personal caddy.  He loves to golf and could use a little company.  So at least once a week you can find the two of us strolling about the Sleepy Hole Golf Course.  (If you don't see us, we might be in the trees somewhere. - Sorry Rick, had to say it.)  So anyways, as I've chased after balls week after week, a great desire has risen in me to learn the game.  And shortly after this new thinking, the US Open was on and wondered to myself:

"Has anyone ever jumped into the professional golf scene at the age of 31?  Like, just picked up a club one day and discovered they had a hidden talent that could marvel the masses?  Because I think I could be that person.  It's all math and angles, right?  Surely it can't be that hard.  Maybe I'm the next Tiger Woods."

Well, today Rick took me to a driving range and I was excited.  I even wore a cute golfing outfit, complete with collared shirt and long shorts.  With gusto I starting hitting things..... and I'm horrible.  I have no knack and yes, I did almost throw a club.  This is my accomplishment for the day:
What you can't see is that next to the blue tee, is another blue tee that I somehow pounded into the ground far enough that I couldn't pull it out.  I probably missed the ball one quarter of the time.  And I admit to muttering at least once, "That was a practice swing".  Graciously, Rick did everything to encourage me.  In fact, he said things that I often say to him while he's golfing - I mean to be kind, but now I know how it really sounds....

For example, I hit a ball that went high, but way off to the right and not very far.
Rick: "Not bad!"  Translation: "Not good, either."

Or, I hit a ball straight ahead and far, but it skips along the ground the entire time.
Rick: "Hey!  It went in the right direction!"

That's the time I almost threw the club.  Let's just say that next time I'll opt for the $4 bucket of balls, not the $7 one because I was ready to be done halfway through.  And I didn't even get better as the afternoon went on.  I was completely horrible.

So I guess I won't make millions on the next PGA tour.  I'll just stay content looking for balls in the woods with Rick.  Yup, that'll be just fine.
Here's a picture.  Note: that is not a real smile.


Muthering Heights said...

I'm sure that no one is awesome the first time they try, but I wouldn't blame you if you remained a caddy forever, LOL!

LifeatTheCircus said...

Ha HA!! When I called you during this golf outing you did not sound happy. AT ALL! Sorry your dreams didn't pan out quite like you had imagined. Maybe next time?

I wish you had a picture of your outfit.. it sounded like the episode of GG when Rory when golfing with her grandfather.

Mom said...

It is like math !!!
Remember how long it took to memorize the times tables? First you learned to recite the tables, then you got so you just knew them without thinking. Well first you have to learn the swing, then you have to practice it until you don't even have to think to swing the swing. One is mental memory and the other is muscle memory.
Love ya

Susie said...

LOL You make me laugh - you are so precious. I too was encouraged to take up golfing with my hubbie. I took lessons at the local Community College and have spent many summers enjoying my outings with him. I really enjoy the beautiful scenic courses, the time talking to him (when I am not bummed out by bad shots) and the thrill of the few GOOD hits. Always remember - they don't show us all of the bad hits the pros make - only the highlights of the really thrilling ones. I am sure that your F-I-L is enjoying the time with his caddy. PS I will stop using those phrases now :-)

Anonymous said...

I'm in tears, my cheeks hurt and my loud belly laughs aroused Michael's interest so that I was requested to read your day out loud. It was more histerical the second go but a little difficult as it's hard to enunciate when my mouth is stretched tight in a "Dena has Asian eyes" grin. Anyway, I love and admire your spunk. Dont' give up. You look really cute in the outfit! Go get 'em tiger! - D

Megan said...

I too wondered if I had some hidden golf potential only to have my dreams dashed when I had trouble actually hitting the ball. I've gotten a tiny tiny bit better and it is so much fun when you actually hit it and it goes flying. But those moments were few and far between. Reading this makes me want to go try again!