and, he's gone...

Yesterday we said our goodbyes. We've been anticipating this day for a year, and yet that out-of-control feeling still caught me by surprise as I watched the mass of uniforms move towards the buses.

I'm still grateful to those ladies walking about with their boxes of tissues. I don't cry very often. But yesterday as I stared at my steering wheel, I sobbed.

There was no hopeless "woe is me", or "how am I going to get through this". The tears were just sadness and the realization that it's finally happened. Jim has deployed.

I drove to Starbucks and had my customary frappachino. Why I chose to go in and melt into one of their couches, I'm not really sure. I didn't want to go home, I guess. Yet there comes a peace when a little baby falls asleep on your chest, and Eli played his part well. It all started to soak in. Sort of.

It's really hard to wrap your mind around a year.

But I don't think I really have to. It's more like, he'll be gone, then he'll be back. I'll wake up at the beginning of the day, and at night I'll put my head on my pillow. After enough of those, Jim will be home and Deployment #2 will be over.

Until then, I'll be thinking a lot about Romans 8:28, hanging out with Eli and waiting with bated breath for that next phone call from Jim.

That is one good thing about the Army. The honeymoon phase never really disappears.

I love you, hon. Stay safe out there. Your little family is missing you every moment.

Dang it. Where are those tissues.

reunion

It's been a month.

And now he's home.

I hope you all have a delightful weekend, too.

my bff: the food edition

Few people in the world have a best friend as cool as mine. She told me months ago that she wanted to come out and help me with the baby when Jim was gone. And she did! For a whole week!

So what did you do while she was here? In one word, we ATE!

Kerri loves Mexican Food.

When she wasn't eating it, she was talking about it. (In fact, really, that might have been the real reason she came to El Paso.) State College, PA has exactly one Mexican restaurant. El Paso has a kazillion. And I'm not exaggerating. At least one every 10 feet. Of course, we only had time to hit up 5 of them.

And Kerri even came prepared, looking on all of her foodie websites and blogs to find out where the hot spots were. (I didn't even know El Paso was cool enough to have hot spots. It was an education for me, too.)

• Directly from the airport I took her to Carlos & Mickeys. It is the place to take out-of-towners around here. The food is authentic, but I think it's the Texas-sized margaritas that draw the crowds. It was my first chance to have one of my own since being pregnant. But my pomegranate margarita was so s-t-r-o-n-g, I could only enjoy one quarter of it. Kerri's strawberry one was right on, though.
• Next up was the Little Diner. Don't be fooled by it's name. Apparently they are known for their killer gorditas. I'd never had one before but am now a big fan. Of course, I had to steal one of Kerri's since I ordered my ever-safe taco plate. I did introduce Kerri to horchata. It's a rice-milk beverage that to me tastes like chai. It's not my favorite but Jim loves it so I figured Kerri should have a try.
• Then we hit up L&J's. Delicious! It started back in the day as a bootlegging joint. And when we walked in the front door and were greeted by a dark bar, it kinda made sense. But there's a small restaurant in the back with a Mexican Combination Plate that let Kerri try one of everything. And my tacos were fantastic. The best I've had in El Paso so far.
• La Casita was a bit of a disappointment. Besides feeling a little dingy inside and out, the waiter was clueless. My special-of-the-day steak tacos were out of this world. But Kerri's plate was so flavorless, she didn't even eat half of it. I won't be back.
• And I've saved the best for last... Ranch Market! This place is a mecca of Mexican comida. It's actually a grocery store that had a little bit of everything else, to include a juice bar, a huge bakery, and a food court that rivals Wegmans. We spent a couple hours here. Yes, at a grocery store. I got some tacos, Kerri tried their horchata, her first tamale, salsa verde, mole sauce, and something chicken. Not to mention that we both walked out with a stack of fresh tortillas the nice senora handed us hot off the press. (It should be said that these were the same stack of tortillas that tipped Kerri's luggage past the overweight mark.)

food!

Kerri's first horchata.

I small taste of Ranch Market. It was amazing!

Enjoying my pig cookie from the Mexican bakery.

More baked goodness.

It was such a good time. There's more to say, and more pictures to share, but you'll have to wait until tomorrow for the second installment.

God bless family

This post is a shout-out to Mom & Dad, Scott and Crystal, Rick & Caroline. Of course, they will now forever be known as Nana & Pop, Aunt & Uncle, Grammy & Granddad.

It's funny how nine months and a day of pain can change so much.

Not to mention how the once proudly independent and extremely capable Karen can turn into a sleep-deprived, insecure mess of hormones, second-guessing herself at every turn... Thank God for people who love me despite myself.

Nana & Pop

My mom came early intending to help out before and after Eli arrived. Only he was taking forever so she had to extend her stay or else she would have almost missed him. (She even got to witness the whole Muppets episode.) We had a great time anticipating his arrival to include shopping, a pedicure, swimming, catching a movie, and all around being girls. Unfortunately this meant that she was only able to overlap with Eli a few days instead of the hoped-for few weeks. Dad flew in for the weekend and barely let anyone else hold Eli the entire time. When we met him at the airport, he was smitten from the start and waited way too many minutes to kiss my mom because he was, um, distracted by a cute little bundle of joy. I think he's still living that down.

My mom was a huge help around the house. It was because of her I discovered my hidden love language: if you clean my kitchen then I am the happiest, most grateful girl in the world, no matter how few hours of sleep I've gotten. She kept things spic-and-span which made my view from the couch delightfully stress-free. Thanks, mom!

Aunt Crystal & Uncle Scott

I love that Scott and Crystal (of Circus fame) flew 2000 miles just to meet the newest member of the family. Since they came kid-less, it was a rare treat to hang as just adults. And what do adults do when the children are gone? They play. More specifically, they play Wii. Rock Band was a weekend favorite. Who knew my brother had such a gifting at the drums? And as it turns out, I still have the middle-school touch and clobbered Scott time after time at Dr. Mario. (You can't deny it, Scott. You know it's true.) Lest you think Eli was forgotten in the shuffle... he was more than content to watch us compete. Mostly because it meant we'd finally put the camera down and his eyes had a rest from all the props and flashing.

Caroline & Rick

By the time Rick and Caroline arrived, I was feeling better physically, and a little more confident in my mothering. Unfortunately Eli was entering his fussy stage, and Jim had returned back to work. Both left me feeling overwhelmed at times. But that made having extra hands around that much more appreciated. Caroline was a great help, especially into the late hours. She did her fair share of cleaning my kitchen, too. (Seriously, I love these people!) During the day, we dared venture out into the world again and enjoyed some shopping and eating out. When we weren't doing that, we watched many of Rick's favorites: football, The Cosby Show and Walker Texas Ranger. The latter only seemed appropriate since we now share residency with Chuck Norris in his favorite state, and all.

Gratefully, they we here after Jim left for a month so I wasn't by myself. But after their two week visit, they had to go back to east coast along with the rest of them. It was a wonderful month with family. And I'm not just typing that because I know all of the above read my blog. Many here warned against having too much family come and the added stresses that could bring when so much change was about. In hindsight, though, I can't say there's really too much I would have done differently. The help was great, and so was the company.

I am truly blessed with a wonderful family, both my own and the one I got to marry into. Besides, I haven't done the dishes for six weeks. Or made dinner for that matter.

Anyone who can put off reality for a month or two is blessed indeed.

saying goodbye

It's been a busy few weeks at the Grube household. We've had friends and family coming and going. Unfortunately, included in that was Jim. He left on the 5th for a month of training in California. During his Army career we've said goodbye many times, but this time it was a little different. I think his heart is a little closer to home now.
This was taken during the last few minutes we had with him. Eli doesn't look particularly pleased either. We left Jim's office - he walked in one direction, and we drove off in another. It's never fun to say goodbye, but I think I might have the formula down. These are my tricks that make being an Army wife a little easier on days like this:

1. I go ahead and let myself shed those tears. There's nothing wrong with being sad. I give myself a day to mope. But then the next day I pull myself up by the bootstraps. If I mope too long, well, I'm just not fun to be around. And frankly, I'm gonna need some friends.
2. On the drive home, I don't turn on the radio. I let silence be my friend. No reason, in particular. It just seems irrelevant to have music on to a) cheer me up since I'm not in a good mood and don't want to be, and b) non-cheerful music would just be stupid.
   
3. To counteract those tears, I hit up Starbucks. And none of this low-fat soy crap either. Bring on the calories. Nothing like wallowing in a grande coffee Frappuccino. Yum and a half.
4. I think alot about Romans 8:28, "And we know that in all things God works for the GOOD of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." I've been called. Check. I love the Lord. Check. Then it's all good! (Chew on that for a while. It's good for the soul.)
   
5. And lastly, I have something fun planned around the corner.
   

In this case I had Jim's parents back at the house to cheer me up. I didn't even need a full day to mope. Sure, I miss him a lot, but that's not the same as moping. One is life. The other is just dramatic. Also, it's only a month, and in Army time, that's like a blink. The real test will be later this fall when Jim leaves for a year.

Yuck. I don't even want to think about it.

So I won't.

That's my other coping mechanism. If I don't think about it, it won't happen, right?

In the meantime, Eli has been great company. Along with a host of others. More on that later. Right now I'm thinking about Jim and how he'll be home in two weeks.

Man, I'm ready for him to be home. It just seems right that our little family should be together... but in the meantime, it's all good.

thirty-two

Yesterday I had the privilege of sharing the very special day of July 16th with my SIL Crystal as our birthdays! She spent it with her family at the zoo. I spend mine as I always do...

Doing only things I want to, and doing nothing I don't want to.

It's my birthday mantra really. I even mentioned to Jim that this is probably the last year I can live that out since next year we'll have a kid and all. His response? "That's what baby-sitters are for." I knew I loved that man.

So what did I do with my day off from life?

Well.
It started off with my favorite cereal. My mom started this brilliant tradition when my brother and I were little. We were only allowed to have healthy cereal growing up - you know, Shredded Wheat and other twigs like that. But, on our birthday we got to pick any box of cereal we wanted from the vast aisle in the grocery store - sugary and all - and we could nurse that box as long as we wanted. I don't even recall having to share it with Scott if I didn't have to. But I'm sure I did, since, you know, I have that kind of big heart. Still to this day Pops is my favorite. So for my 32nd birthday yesterday, I had 2 bowls for breakfast.

Then, for 2nd breakfast (I've been enjoying those ever since I've been pregnant) I had some of my favorite ice cream cake. Now I can ice a pretty cool looking traditional cake if I wanted to. I have a collection of Wilton cake decorating tips and everything. But for my birthday I like to keep it simple. I always make my favorite in the world. Graham crackers, chocolate and ice cream. It might not look like much, but it's a tradition that I hope you all get to enjoy with me someday. It might change your life. (I'm also a little embarrassed to admit how little of it was left at the end of yesterday. I did have help, but not as much as it looks like I should have.)

In between my food fests I managed to post a blog (finally) catch up on a few emails, and spend many of my cell phone minutes chatting with well-wishers. It was wonderful.

I met Jim for lunch at Subway with some work friends and then I was off to shop. On the list? Nursing bras, some hospital-worthy pajamas, and a few more onesies for the Grublet. Sadly, all I found were the onesies. Do you know how hard it is to buy a bra when you don't know your size?

So I made myself feel better by getting a pedicure. Since I can't easily reach my toes anymore, I thought it would be a nice gesture. I do love a good pedicure. I prefer it when the technicians aren't real chatty and I can just fall into the gossip and fashions of their People magazines. She did great and I decided I didn't really mind that I sorta have a flip-flop tan. (Ha! Can you call it a tan when it's just white on whiter?)

After some needed rest on the couch, Jim can home early and I opened some cards and presents. My birthday gift from Jim? Well, in all honesty, it came early and we've been enjoying it for the last few weeks...So we played some more last night. (Though I'm not allowed to box or play any of the other more strenuous sports, what with my delicate state and all.) We've also since purchased Rock Band, and I'm just warning you... I'm pretty darn good on the drums. We even have Dr. Mario which was my favorite game back in the day. I'm a little rusty, but with a little practice, I'll be back on top in no time. Don't worry.

To end the night we headed over to a neighbors' house to watch So You Think You Can Dance and enjoy some more of the coveted Ice Cream Cake.

Then a much needed collapse into bed. Ahh, it's good to be 32.

what a week it's been

It's been a pretty crappy week. There's no other way to say it. Last Friday we lost a soldier in a tragic car accident. He left behind a young wife and three-year old daughter.

The unfortunate thing about the military is that it has a tendency to move you far away from family. And when something like this happens and your family is still a 14 hour drive away, the unit and FRG fill in the gap as best as we can.

So it's been a week full of sitting on the couch listening to stories, coordinating meals, meeting parents and in-laws, planning the memorial service, and doing everything we can to make the wife a little less overwhelmed. And having tissues ready at a moment's notice.

And praise the Lord for well-placed tissue boxes because I went through a good handful myself during the service yesterday. If you haven't been to a military memorial, it is a powerful half hour. Besides having the daughter point out "Daddy! Daddy!" throughout the slideshow presentation, Taps didn't leave a dry eye in the place.

But the family isn't the only one who suffers. Jim lost a soldier, too, which is a hard thing for any commander. These things leave him with a long list of things to do and people to comfort. He's been non-stop for the last 7 days.

I'm glad it's the weekend. We all need to take a deep breath.

san diego

Our trip to San Diego was just what the doctor ordered. It was the perfect little vacation for two people who needed to just get out of El Paso for a while. It was a long drive (11+ hours), but sometimes the best conversations happen in the car.

We'd intended to stay in a hotel on the beach which we could only afford because of Jim's military connection (thank you, Navy Lodge). But a quick call to a friend opened up the opportunity to stay at his empty condo for the weekend, free of charge. And since free is cheaper that even a military discount, we went for it. So instead of staying on Coronado Island as originally planned, we spent most of our time in the charming little town of Carlsbad, CA. His place was a few blocks from the ocean, and this was the view outside our room every morning:
I pinched myself alot. While he was away, we watched his dog, Pax, who couldn't have been easier. (So if you see a dog in any pictures, don't worry, we didn't shave Roxy and dye her black.)

Some highlights of the week were a trip to Ikea, burgers from In and Out, walks along the beach, Balboa Park, dinner on Coronado Island, a guy who played the guitar with his feet, amazing flowers everywhere that smelled oh so good, shrimp tacos at Pedros Tacos, sleeping in, and just lots of quality time together.

This is my favorite picture which I think captures the trip well. I was having a hankerin' for some In and Out (seriously, you have to go) and a frappuccino, so I ran out and brought home some yumminess to share with Jim on the porch. And this is what we did for much of the trip - we hung out together, enjoying the friendship that has evolved over the past 5 years:

More pictures from the weekend:

Balboa Park

a really cute couple at Balboa Park

a phenominal guitar player

one of our many walks

a cactus that I fell in love with

Bouganvilla, my new favorite flower
(which, thanks to Lowes, is now in our backyard)

The trip was so perfect that I cried on the way home. Some people would call it pregnancy hormones, but I just didn't want it to end.

5 down...

...a kazillion more to go, I hope.

This morning Jim and I woke up in San Diego. We are taking a long Memorial Day weekend to celebrate our anniversary.

In 5 years we've:

• lived together for almost 3 and half of them (thanks, Army!)
• made it through a full year deployment
• made it through the after-deployment
• fought alot
• laughed more
• moved 5 times
• rescued our other family member, Roxy
• mourned the loss of family members together
• met new nieces and nephews
  
• made a Grublet of our own

And to commemorate such achievements, Jim gave me this:

I've actually had it since Christmas, but it was always intended to be for today, exactly 5 years after the above picture was taken. One of the best days of my life. By far, the best decision I've ever made.

So happy May 22nd, everyone.
(Especially you, too, Cindy!)

still recovering?

That's the excuse I'm using, anyway, since I'm not posting until today. And it's not too far from the truth. The Circus visit was fun, chaotic, exhausting, delightful, and a whirlwind all at once.

As you can see from Crystal's account, the White Sands National Monument visit looked nothing like the picture below. The women and kids sought refuge from the sandstorm in the car while the men donned goggles, gator masks and hats with their sleds and made the best of it. Which was wildly entertaining to the rest of us. (Actually, I take that back. Crystal decided to take a few rides down the dunes, to my great awe and respect.)

But that's not really my favorite story from the weekend. As you might have heard, the Circus showed up a little sick. But that didn't stop us from inviting our friends the Podgurskis down from Albuquerque. They have a daughter that made an instant friend to my little nephew and nieces. So much so that while I was helping the Pods check into their hotel (they had already given up camping in our backyard due to the unforgiving El Paso winds), Scott called and suggested we try to "squeeze them in" to the house. Which wasn't as hard as it seemed once you realized that two toddlers could fit on the floor in our closet. Yup. Two kids, in our closet, all night. Well, almost all night. My niece got scared around 4:30am so I rescued her and we had a nice couple of hours snuggling on the couch until the rest of the crew woke up... Though somehow I failed to mention the killer Friday night pajama party that you can have with four kids under the age of 5. My brother cranked some song I never heard of and dance moves started flying out of these kids like I've never seen. And man, can they groove. SYTYCD had better watch out.

But then there's the "I'm never doing that again" story. Which took place Sunday morning as Scott and Crystal were trying to get the Circus on the road. As the kids started to get a little restless, I opted to take one of my nieces to the park since she seemed to be instigating some, ahem, disagreements among the kids. And why not take Roxy, too? So as I started to get the plan in action, my nephew decided he didn't want to be left out. Which, of course, meant that my youngest niece wanted to come. So before I knew it, our party went from two people and a dog, to four. Why I didn't think to ask another adult to come along, or maybe leave Roxy at home, I'm not sure. I'm really not sure.

So.

When we walked the few houses down and spotted the swings, I was immediately asked why we weren't going to the Big Park. And deciding there was enough time, our 2 minute walk turned into 15 minutes through the neighborhood to find the big park. Everyone holding hands, just like they ought.

Then we made it to the park and the kids immediately ran for the swings. Whatever. One pregnant girl lifting and swinging 3 kids quickly proved to be a bad idea. But what can you do now? Eventually one decided she was done swinging and proceded to tromp across the park. But the problem was the wood chips that some brilliant contractor thought would make great ground cover. Since we were just glad to get shoes on all the kids, we didn't even worry about socks. So now wood chips were falling into her shoes and making her cry. I got them all out, but she was too afraid to put the shoes back on. There was no other option but to hold her.

So again, to paint the picture... Pregnant me is holding one kid while pushing the other two, meanwhile hearing, "You're not as good as Daddy at this" over and over again. Geez. I'm trying, here.

With the last few minutes the older kids decided to play on the playground we'd walked so far for. And proceeded to toss wood chips up and down the slide. Sure, why not. At least they weren't getting in their shoes.

Until the walk home, of course. Pregnant Karen is still holding the youngest in one arm, and her shoes in the other. My other niece is obediently holding onto my shirt tail. And my nephew is helping me hold Roxy's leash as we walk down the sidewalk. Until woodchips showed up in my niece's shoe. To which I bent down and helplessly watched Roxy run my nephew down the street, yelling after him to "be strong!".

Needless to say, it was a long hour. We made it home and Scott and Crystal were able to make miraculous strides in getting them out the door. So I collapsed on the couch and watched the rest of the morning happen.

But I was really sad to see them go. And then go again, when after getting gas we realized I'd given them bad directions. Oops.

This was Sunday. It's now Thursday and I haven't heard from them yet. I'm hoping all is well and that sicknesses have vanished. Either way, I'm sure they're making perfect memories. I know I'd do it all over again.

weekend notes: talks and runs

Thank you for all of your encouragement last weekend! The talk at the retreat went great. That is to say, I'm my own harshest critic, but I had many women come up and tell me what they got out of it and I think that was God's way of saying, "Good job." And when God gives you the thumbs up, well, you just shouldn't argue.

So the talk was Friday night which meant I got to relax the rest of the retreat. Which also meant I stayed up until 2am playing games with the girls. And if there was ever a time to make new, good friends, a retreat is it! So fun was had by all and after a "quick" trip to a new-found quilt shot, I got home later on Saturday than expected and fell promptly to sleep.

But then I woke up early Sunday morning so Jim could run in the El Paso Half Marathon. The funny thing is that Jim signed up months ago for this race but we both forgot to write it down on our calendars. So whenever it came up, I said something about thinking it was at the end of the month. But then Jim called me on Wednesday and asked if I knew what March 1st was. I was up to my elbows in movers and boxes at the time so I didn't even guess. "The half marathon," he said. Long pause. "Oh."

I should also mention that Jim didn't really train up to this point, AND he'd been sick for most of the week.

But my husband is crazy and ran it anyway. It wasn't his best run, he said. And I could kinda tell as it looked like Death was running across the finish line. But he had a good excuse. The next morning at the doctors he found out he had Bronchitis.

So to sum-up, my husband ran 13.1 miles with bronchitis. He's amazing. He said that he didn't even bonk until mile 11. Without bronchitis I usually bonk between mile 6 and 8. He seriously is amazing.

So after his half, I slept for a few hours. Sounds fair, right? Then some friends picked me up for He's Just Not That Into You (click it! and just leave the song/soundtrack on in the background. Love it!) and the rest of the day was a flurry of unpacking and I now have all of my clothes beautifully organized in my humongous closet.

Which means I also have found all of my winter clothes. A very important detail since I'm now in Maryland where there's inches of snow on the ground and I'm experiencing true winter for the first time this season. I LOVE the east coast!

week in review: firsts

I had myself a pretty good week. Nothing too out of the ordinary happened. Except that my life here is now if full swing. Now that Jim has taken command, I get to volunteer as the primary Family Readiness Group (FRG) leader. So that will feel at times like a part-time job. I am also starting to show (I didn't think so), and with that have come a few unwelcome comments. I tried on my first maternity clothes. Not an overly positive experience, actually. And I finished a book this week - the first book I've finished in who knows when.

Observations from the week:

• I am now officially into my 2nd trimester and haven't found it as relieving as I'd hoped.
• I puked on Wednesday.
• I had a friend compliment my "cute baby tummy". Funny thing, though; I didn't take it as a compliment. New rule: if I'm not wearing maternity clothes, all sentances that include cute and tummy translates in my head as fat.
• But I did go to Ross and try on some of those sexy blue-panel-at-the-top jeans. I took them off as quickly as I got them on. They felt weird.
• So I pulled out the rubber-band for my current jeans. Which has been a great save.
• And after my last post, I'm surely going to be checking out these things called Bella Bands.
• But I'm also interested in any suggestions for maternity jeans. I LIVE in jeans and will be happy to drop some cash on them. Any ideas?
• I almost passed out on Monday. Because my sense of smell is so keen, I always hold my breath when opening the fridge or garbage. On Monday I was doing both at the same time and didn't suck in enough air. So I got a little light-headed and the trash almost didn't make it into the can.
• I received a lovely care-package from a friend that included the entire Jane Austin series. I have since read Persuasions cover to cover and yesterday I began Mansfield Park.
• Last night I think I dreamt in Old English.
• And have recently used the words "perchance" and some other one that made Jim look at me funny.
• He also made fun of me because I have to make a cheat sheet whenever I read books. It includes a list of characters and identifying points about each one. Otherwise I get confused.
• This is why I don't read very often.
• It's now the end of January and with this ever-filling life of mine, I need to find myself a good calendar for my purse. I've picked out this one and plan to order it promptly. Gosh, I love Etsy.

Have a great weekend, all. Ours is packed. See you Monday.

my husband is important!

One of the reasons Jim's family came into town last week is that Jim took command of his unit on Wednesday. To you non-Army people out there, it's a fancy way of saying he's in charge now. And like all things military, there has to be a ceremony when important things like that happen, right? And what better way to follow a ceremony than a reception - hosted by the wife of the new commander, of course. (That's me.)

So Wednesday morning I did what I haven't done in a long time - I got up early, took a shower, and tried my best to look nice that day. Jim's mom was a life-saver and helped the day run as smoothly as possible. Here's the run-down:

8:30am - Jim's already at work so Rick, Caroline and I pile tons of veggies, dip, drinks and coolers into my small Honda. We head to the commissary to pick up the cake.


But this is no ordinary cake. When I ordered it I asked Jim what he wanted and he showed me a picture and said, "This." Since his unit is called the Wolfpack, "this" was a picture of a claw scratch with blood coming from it. And some motto about hunting and killing. Nice.

So, right on time, we picked up the cake and some bags of ice, too.

9:00 - We load back into the car with the extra goods (it's getting tight) and head over to the unit area. We're greeted by a bunch of soldiers ready to unload the car. How nice! Nobody let me pick up anything remotely heavy. Geez, people. I may be pregnant, but I'm not an invalid.

9:45 - Everything is set out at this point. The table clothes are down, the veggies are arranged, the drinks are cold, and the cake is ugly. We just have to wait for the pizza to arrive.

10:00 - I'm rubbing elbows while I'm organizing last minute pizza details and being ushered to my seat. The ceremony has begun and my husband looks confident (and hot!) as he's at the front doing his Army thing. The National Anthem plays, speeches are made (his was short and sweet), flags/"guidons" are passed around, flowers are given, and my husband officially takes his command. There's singing of anthems that I don't know and before I knew it the ceremony was over. As in only lasting 16 minutes.

Which is a problem because my friends won't arrive with the pizza until 10:30.

The ceremony begins.

The unit guidon is passed to Jim.

Jim, in front of his new unit.

10:17 - After many handshakes and mingling we decide to cut the cake while we wait for the food. But slowly people are leaving.

10:35 - 20 pizzas arrive for the 70 people that are supposed to be fed. But by that time, there were probably only 30 people left. Which I'm not sure why everyone darted back to work so fast. If I knew there would be free food, I'd stick around.

But despite that unforeseen glich, we had a great time and found random passers-by to hand extra pizza to.

We were home by 12:00 and I was in bed by 12:30. And I slept until 3:30. It's hard work putting together a party! Somehow the kitchen was put back together when I woke up - all thanks to Caroline.

So that was Jim's day, from the perspective of his wife. I'm very proud of him and enjoy any chance I get to watch him at work. He's going to be a great commander, even if he just called to say he was going to have to work late tonight.

And so it begins.

(PS - look below as I've finally added pictures to last week's post.)

the first secret i've ever kept

And this has been a hard one. But...
It's true. We are 11 weeks and 5 days closer to a little Grublet entering the world.

Some of you know what a huge answer to many prayers this is. After 2 years and a miscarriage, God is granting us a little one. We've already started praying nightly that we don't screw it up.

And I know you all want to know ALL the details, so.....

11 days into becoming official El Pasoans, we discovered that Germany might have been better to us than we realized. After some exhausting days of doing nothing, and a larger than life chest, we decided to spend the ridiculous $8 on yet another test. Jim and I have a system where I take the test and he goes in after the eternal 3 minutes to check it. That way we're both a part of it. Clever, huh?

But, since neither of us really thought it'd be positive, we strayed from the norm. I figured I'd just take it during one of my middle-of-the-night pee parties. So, at the bladder-appointed time I popped out of bed, grabbed the test, peed in the dark and laid back down. Checking the clock I was surprised that it read 2am. (This is important because it explains why I seem so out of it.) A few minutes later, expecting "not pregnant", I held up the test to my squinty eyes and.... couldn't tell. Was there a second line? Maybe. It kinda looked faint.

So I laid back in bed for a few more minutes and checked again. I seemed like it might be just barely darker, but I also just turned the light on and was half blind. A few minutes later after the same routine again, I finally woke up Jim.

His take? "I think you're pregnant." I jump out of bed at this point and say, "Really? Are you sure?" Confusion ensued. We decided I was pregnant.

Jim promptly rolled over and fell asleep. Men. I couldn't turn my brain off until closer to 5am. And in that two and a half hours, I checked it at least 4 more times. (I still couldn't tell if it was getting darker.)

That was Sunday morning. November 30th. And if you know me, I'm not good with secrets. It's been SO HARD!

But our first heartbeat appointment was Monday and our fabulous nurse practitioner found that lovely swoosh, swoosh, swoosh sound that I may never forget. Up until this point, I've had a bit more fear than I was willing to admit. But with that heart beat, it all kinda melted away and I don't have to say "if we have a baby" anymore. And since I was laying down at the time, my tear fell right into my ear.

So there you have it, world. Coming in early August 09, Grublet Number 1.

a week in el paso

No, I didn't fall into the giant abyss that is Texas. You might have thought so given my absence. But I've just been busy... I guess?

The week hasn't been half bad. Lots of adjusting, but I'm making it work. This would be crazy long post if I told you all of it, so I'll recap. It'll just be sorta long. But I promise pictures at the end...

Recap #1
Thursday we ventured off post to see what this whole El Paso thing was all about. After about 20 minutes of driving on the highway, overlooking the sprawling city, seeing Mexico in the distance, feeling overwhelmed, feeling lonely....

I cried.

I cried and told Jim "I don't want to be here" and he lovingly held my hand and told me I cried when we got to Fort Campbell, too. I think he was lying and just saying that to make me feel better. But he does have a better memory than I do, like by a ton. So I believed him and it did make me feel better. I loved Fort Campbell and would go back to in a second. Perhaps Fort Bliss would surprise me.

Recap #2
Friday Jim met his "sponsor" who toted him around post to show him the place. I stayed back and walked Roxy to a mysterious coffee shop I thought I'd seen on post. It's fabulous! It doesn't look like much from the outside, but it's frappuccinos are maybe better than Starbucks. Maybe. And with the long walk home, I felt very justified in my calories, thank you very much.

So, coffee shop on post. I might be able to handle this.

Recap #3
Saturday Jim and I decided to be adventurous and find a hole-in-the-wall Mexican place to eat that looked like it had passed inspection. (We've heard rumors.) So we found Viva Burrito and it was horrible. We ended up at Taco Bell. I'm not making that up.

Recap #4
On Sunday we made friends! Jim's sponsor Brandon ended up being a pretty cool guy with a pretty cool wife! And they like hiking. And she likes crafting. So for three hours we talked up a storm and watched our 3 dogs become rock climbing buddies as we hiked the Franklin Mountains. We made it to a cool Aztec cave (pictures below) and scrambled down what I think wasn't a path, but was still super fun. We even got an invite for Thanksgiving dinner. Our other option was turkey sandwiches in the hotel room. No kidding.

It was such a great day and we slept really well. Especially Roxy.

And I have my first friend.

Oh, and I saw my first tarantula! My first thought was to be scared. But don't worry, my second thought was to grab my camera. But then Brandon told me they could jump. So I quickly walked away. Then he said, "Sometimes up to 6 feet." So I ran. But I still saw one so I think I should totally get cool points for that.

Recap #5
Housing. I've been kinda moot on this point because things have been very up in the air as to where we're going to live. We really, really, really want to live on post. To do that, you have to get your name on the waiting list, and we've been on it since August. Our number has gone down from high, to 34, which is still high.

On Monday the "nice" lady behind the desk didn't give us much hope. She reminded us that 34 is really high.

So Plan B. This is a God Is Awesome! story. As it turns out, through a connection with the post chaplain, there's a girl with a home in the same neighborhood we'll hopefully someday be in who sorta needs a house sitter. Did you follow that? For 6 weeks we'll be borrowing someone else's home on post. And she thinks we're doing her a favor!

The house is huge and has a fence in the backyard for Roxy. We just got the key today and I couldn't be more pumped. We'll move in Saturday.

And for the next few months I'll visit the "nice" lady at Housing every week and maybe even bring her cookies.

Recap #6
Jim and I enjoyed our hiking trip so much that that we went back again today. We enjoyed a picnic lunch under the nicest side-of-the-road-picnic-table I've ever enjoyed. Then we found another set of caves and hiked away! Roxy is quite the rock-climbing dog - far more so than we anticipated. She thinks Texas is heaven. We never thought we'd be "those people", but we definitely have more pictures of her than of us. Lame, I know.

_________________________________
So that's our first almost-week in El Paso. The other day I told Jim that I think I might end up liking it here. Somehow, when you meet people and find things to do, it doesn't feel so big.

Here are all the pictures I promised. It's a collection I call:

"What Karen does when she's stuck in Texas,
and then doesn't feel quite so stuck"

On our first hike with our new friends, the Ebels. (A picture does exist with all of us together, but sadly it wasn't taken on my camera.)

Karen and Roxy near the Aztec caves

Wednesday's side of the road picnic

Our picnic view

Roxy and Jim

Roxy our mountain dog

the travels begin...

I'm sorry, folks. I had high hopes of blogging the weekend away, but alas... Thursday we saw all of our earthly possessions drive away in a moving truck. Friday Jim graduated from the school he's been in all summer. The weekend, as always, was jam-packed. And tomorrow we fly to Germany.

Needless to say, my computer time has been scarce. I don't know how much I'll be able to post while I'm gone, but I'll do my best. Expect pictures, pictures, pictures!

Auf Weidersehen, all!

things you missed: Tuesday-Thursday with Becky

Hello internet friends. If you're reading this, it's because you haven't given up on me. Thanks! I've been very busy indeed with moving details. All of our earthly possessions were boxed up today. Tomorrow they drive away in a truck. The other night I had a dream that I was teaching a class to Army wives on how to move. Everything went terribly wrong as dreams do. Gratefully I awoke to probably the most stressless move I'll ever have.

But I digress.

On Tuesday, I drove the most beautiful drive. From MD to PA the trees grew more and more amazing. I love PA's rolling hills (mountains?) in the fall. That is something I will definitely miss while in TX. (Remind me to post some cactus needles falling next October.) One of my favorite parts of fall is the wind through the trees. A breeze of red, yellow, and orange leaves flittering down like confetti. I can't help but think God's throwing me my own personal party. Love it!

Then I made it to Becky's.

We have a fun story. We went to Grove City College together, but she was a few years behind me. I knew her, but not well. Many, many years later, 2006 to be exact, we randomly ran into each other on our Army post in KY. I did one of those double-takes, we caught up, and we've been great friends ever since. In fact, for 2 years she lived just down the street from me and we saw each other just about every day. And talk about crafty! This girl can sew. She can out-quilt me any day. And none of that easy patchwork stuff. She does it all. Wedding ring, log cabin, stars, applique. you name it. I didn't even know what "stitch in the ditch" was until I met her. We've spent many a night in front of Pride and Prejudiced (the long one!) with our crafts in hand.

Well she and I had a great time. I got to meet her new 5 week old and played a ton with her daughter, 2. And she even made me my favorite - tacos. We spent much of the time at her house which was fine by me. With one important exception.

On Wednesday I flew in an airplane! Yup, a Super-Cub to be exact. Her hubby Joe is a pilot and borrowed a friend's plane so I could see the trees from a totally different perspective. Man, was it awesome. He even let me "fly" as there were controls by my seat. I put "fly" in quotes because I freaked myself out, convinced I would send us into a tailspin. After about 30 seconds I pleaded that he take back the controls. Later, after a courage-lifting internal pep talk, I gave it another go and lasted about a minute and half. Flying is apparently not my thing. I just assume look out the window, thank you very much.


So a big shout-out goes to Becky who opened her farmhouse to me, complete with homemade food, cozy quilts, good conversation and memories galore! I miss you already.