Monday, November 16, 2009

and, he's gone...



Yesterday we said our goodbyes. We've been anticipating this day for a year, and yet that out-of-control feeling still caught me by surprise as I watched the mass of uniforms move towards the buses.


I'm still grateful to those ladies walking about with their boxes of tissues. I don't cry very often. But yesterday as I stared at my steering wheel, I sobbed.

There was no hopeless "woe is me", or "how am I going to get through this". The tears were just sadness and the realization that it's finally happened. Jim has deployed.

I drove to Starbucks and had my customary frappachino. Why I chose to go in and melt into one of their couches, I'm not really sure. I didn't want to go home, I guess. Yet there comes a peace when a little baby falls asleep on your chest, and Eli played his part well. It all started to soak in. Sort of.

It's really hard to wrap your mind around a year.

But I don't think I really have to. It's more like, he'll be gone, then he'll be back. I'll wake up at the beginning of the day, and at night I'll put my head on my pillow. After enough of those, Jim will be home and Deployment #2 will be over.

Until then, I'll be thinking a lot about Romans 8:28, hanging out with Eli and waiting with bated breath for that next phone call from Jim.

That is one good thing about the Army. The honeymoon phase never really disappears.

I love you, hon. Stay safe out there. Your little family is missing you every moment.

Dang it. Where are those tissues.

24 comments:

Melanie Brookshire said...

Hugs. Tissues. More hugs. ;o)

Amanda Naprawa said...

I need those tissues now too.

Christina said...

such a sweet picture of the three of you! will be praying for all of you!

Kevin and Amy said...

You have such an unfathomable grace about you. Your resignation to the whole thing isn't a pessimistic mess, it's just a perspective that is accurate and matter-of-fact and honest. Cry all the tears you need to cry and don't feel bad if a little "woe is me" and "how will we get through it" creeps in.

And if you're looking to just pass time and live life a bit while you wait for Jim's trip across the pond to be complete, well then bring Eli on over to hang with Jake and I will buy you a frappuchino! I imagine you will be in Annapolis for a period of time...saw that you're off to CA soon...if you're looking to hang out while you're out this way PLEASE let me know! You've got lots of us GCC people out here...Marissa and Elizabeth and Kara and Allie and Kate...(ha, Kate and Allie)...and probably more!

Maybe you could host a "how to keep life in perspective and be tremendously gifted in the art of craftiness" course? Hmmmm?

Prayers and love are with you and Jim and Eli. For sure.

jen fisher said...

hugs and kisses to you both... i love the pictures... anytime you need to get away I am only a phone call away...

what a beautiful blog... now I am praying I have as much strength as you did yesterday...

Andrea said...

I know those smiles. We too have the photo taken seconds before the Navy took Steve away for a year. I walked out of the Norfolk terminal, put LeighAnna in her carseat and then began to sob (which I never do). I probably would've sunk in a couch with coffee but I had to fly across the country a few hours later with my then 2-year old and complete a PCS move a week later. I'm still amazed at how God used LeighAnna to comfort me on that first day apart and the 364 that followed. From the backseat I heard, "It'll be okay Mommy." And she was right. It wasn't always fun being apart but it was okay. In fact, God used that year apart in amazing ways. I know Eli isn't old enough to talk, but I'm positive God will use him to bring you and Jim joy and comfort during this next year. And the technology, R&R visit and community God provides helps a lot too.

Andrea

Angela said...

We love you guys! I am praying that "God will meet all your needs accoriding to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus." (Phil 4:19)
Now, where are my tissues?

Momma B. said...

praying for your family!

Shawna said...

Love the picture! You are an amazing person and I know you know you will get through this time of separation. If you need to chat, give me a call. My heart goes out to you. Wish I could be there....just like I was before down the street.

Erin said...

Karen,
I'll be praying for all three of you. Hopefully, we'll get to see you and Eli soon!
Erin

Crafty P said...

prayers for all the grubes- for safety, for well-being, for patience....
hugs across the states to you, my friend!

so thankful for men like yours who keep us safe and our freedoms alive.

betsy said...

i don't think i even knew this was REALLY happening...what a beautiful picture you took as he left. thank you karen for sharing your husband and his talents with our country...thank you eli for letting your dad make us ALL proud. praying for you karen...and eli...AND Jim.

Kathleen Winebarger said...

I knew you'd make me cry! I remember crying after I left post the first time Robbie deployed. Maddie was one, and she did such a good job cheering me up. The great thing about deployments when the kids are young is that you can break it up with trips out of town without having to worry about school schedules. The other good thing is that though Eli may miss his Daddy, he's not old enough to be really devastated by it, so you only have to deal with your broken heart. The older they get, the harder it is when Daddy leaves. Sending our love and prayers. Kathleen :)

Michelle Ioapo A'etonu said...

hang in there you guys! you'll be in our thoughts and prayers! hope to see ya when the main body leaves!

Megan said...

Tears were flowing as I read this -can't imagine being in your position and handling it with such grace and wisdom and honesty. I'm praying for the three of you and for that this next year to pass quickly! Look forward to seeing you when you come East. Love you all!

Susie said...

Reading this post through many tears for you and Jim and Eli. God allows these trials and tests to strengthen your faith and glorify Him. Keeping you in my daily prayers.

Erica said...

Saying a prayer for you all right now!

Happy said...

I know my tears are not stemming from hormones this time. I cannot imagine, just cannot imagine being in your shoes. I admire you for what you are capable of doing and I'll be praying along with everyone for you over the next year. And for Jim. I am so thankful for his service. And for yours.

erin w. said...

You all are such a beautiful family! I'll am and will be praying for you Karen.

JKHoward8 said...

We're praying for you all and hoping that this year goes by quickly (except for R&R, which can go SLOWLY). We miss you both and hope that we can make your and Eli's European getaway a reality!
Love ya! jules:)

LifeAtTheCircus.com said...

I love you guys dearly and am so proud to call you my family. Thank you, all three of you for the sacrifices you make for our nation.

rr adventurer said...

I pray you can take life one step at a time...

The longest I have ever had to go solo - without my husband has been two weeks (the last time it was three kids under the age of four) and that was for "choir tour". It was made easier by knowing the other wives whom also were doing it 'solo'.

Christie said...

Thanks Karen, you got me on the tram photo...tissues please!

Anonymous said...

I miss you both so much! It is so good to know that you have so many friends to tkae care of you while I'm away.

I love you.

Jim