Sunday, December 28, 2008

making due on christmas & my crazy husband

Without Christmas decorations this year the house was looking a little bare. And there were some practical issues that needed to be addressed, as well. 1) Where do you put presents when you don't have a tree? 2) What do you use for stockings when you don't have any? (Btw, I wasn't about to go traditional and use actual socks. They're WAY too small. Please.)

Well, first I have to give my SIL a shout out. She called me last week and said that when I got my package from her, I had to open it right away. I was reluctant since I'm an avid fan of waiting until Christmas morning for presents. I love suspense. But she insisted. So on the 23rd I got a little piece of love from Annapolis, MD in the form of our very own mini Christmas tree, complete with lights, ornaments, and a star for the top. Oh, and artwork from my gifted niece and nephew to adorn the wall. I felt very loved.

So now to Issue #2.

Never fear. My creative husband is here! And I LOVE my creative husband. It's one of the reasons I married him, actually. He always makes the mundane, um, a little different.

His grand idea as to take masking tape and outline stockings on the floor. We would then, in turn, fill each other's "stockings" and cover them up for the big reveal on Christmas morning.

A clever idea, indeed. If only it stopped there.

I was banished to the other room, and a half hour later I came in to what looked like a crime scene in our dining room. And a very proud husband.

After filling his "stocking" (the left boot), I was banished again and woke up the next morning to this:

My husband doesn't do anything small. My stocking is on the right, full of many, many kinds of chocolate. (He's a good listener, too!) Santa's bag is filled with goodies we've gotten this month that couldn't wait until Christmas so were "opened" early. Under the tree are our real presents. And, what's that clutter all around the perimeter of Santa, you ask? Oh, that's evidence.

Duh.

Jim would like to know if you can figure out what killed Santa. Here are your clues:

Could it be the Christmas cookies left out for Santa?

Or the milk to wash them down?

Or, the impulsive Papa John's delivery from Christmas Eve?

The best Christmas movie ever?
(White Christmas, in case you didn't know.)

We know it's not this.

Hm... perhaps Roxy has something to do with it.

???

The uniform code for military justice?

It's hard to know. This is a clearly a complex crime. But if you can put the clues together, we'd love your theories.

And I hope your Christmas was as cool as ours. Crime scene or not.

14 comments:

Rach said...

The best part is picturing that giddy little smile on Jim's face as he's doing this. yeah, that's awesome.

Muthering Heights said...

What a cute idea! He seems like so much fun!

I'm glad that you had a nice Christmas...but hopefully next year you will be in your own place with a real tree and stockings. :)

Scott said...

If it was the milk then the milk would be spilled. Couldn't be that.

Pizza, Santa is so focused on cookies Christmas eve night that I doubt he even noticed it was there.

Exhibit D. Now I think we are getting closer. I mean really, have you seen the movie. Could definitely kill a man. But then again, does Santa have time for movies on Christmas Eve?

Looks like more then one cookie was eaten. Santa is known for having a soft spot for cookies so that would be the obvious place to add some poison. But to work that fast. I don't know....

Oil? It is true that oil is the only potentially fatal substance listed among the clues (other then white Christmas of course). Not fatal in cookies. Could be fatal in milk. Would be a kinda slow way to go though. Kinda messy too. Yea, lets' not go there.

That leaves us with Settlers and the dog clues and some book on military justice. I want to go with Roxy; she would definitely fight to defend the homestead. Thing is, if Roxy had access to the room then the chocolate would be gone as well.

My guess (and yes, this is my final answer). Santa was on his way out after eating some cookies sipping milk. However, as he was leaving he became enthralled by the code of military justice. Kept downing cookies and drinking milk until - kabam - he hit the floor with an allergic reaction to one of the Christmas cookies. Temporarily incapacitated by the reaction, he would be ok given a little time to recuperate. Problem is he had landed on the remote control for white Christmas and it, quite honestly, sucked out his will to live. Santa's marvelous run ended Christmas eve 2008. Children in every town west of El Paso awoke Christmas morning to empty stockings. Kinda sad really.

Merry Christmas.

P.S. Good job Jim. Way to be creative.
P.P.S. Talk about going the extra mile. Not a single piece a furniture is left in it's original location. Hummmmm...perhaps that's the clue.

Crafty P said...

that's hilarious!

now onto what Santa brought you!

ps. it was definitely the peanut oil. I mean obviously Santa ate too many fried oreos, pickles, etc etc

Rebecca said...

I have no idea what killed Santa, but are those Tom Cruise's sunglasses from the movie Top Gun??

Erin said...

i believe santa was deep frying cookies and dogfood with peanut oil while reading the incredibly boring book when he fell asleep reading and fell into the hot oil.
Deep Fried Santa is the cause of death.

did i mention you guys are nuts?? :) also, half my family will be in El Paso starting tomorrow for the bowl game. If you catch it on TV, look for number 62 on the extra point and field goal teams. He will be the last one on the right side of the line.

Mom said...

What I think the evidence shows is as follows.

== Exhibit A ] Cookies/Tin -- near pizza box, Settlers- Top/Rt
The tin of cookies has been tampered with. (Since it is early Christmas morning I suspect that one of the the Army Criminal Investigation Division's [CID] team member missed breakfast and ate a few cookies - note the cookie can is open in the "Close-up" photo but closed in the "Over View" photo. If the cookies had been poisoned then there would now be an additional body - the CID's
Note: the Navy's NCIS team would not have been so sloppy.


== Exhibit C ] Pizza -- near Settlers and cookie- Tin Top/Rt
Opened.
== Exhibit D ] White Christmas Movie -- opened, sleeve and DVD- Top/Rt
Watched Christmas Eve

== Exhibit E ] Settlers -- above pizza box- Top/Rt


>>> All used Christmas Eve. The Pizza was eaten during the Movie after the game of Settlers. After the game so not to get the game greasy. The sleepy Jim forgot to put the Cookies with the Milk.

== Exhibit F ] Roxy's dog food -- near Oil / Uniform Code of Military Justice- Rt Side
Santa went to get the Reindeer food (dog food) when he noticed his boots squeaked.

== Exhibit G ] Oil -- near Dog food / Uniform Code of Military Justice- Rt Side
Used by Santa to stop the squeak in his boots.

== Exhibit H ] Uniform Code of Military Justice -- near Oil / Dog Food- Rt Side
Scared Santa when he saw the book and realized he didn't go through the Base Gate and was on the Base illegally. (His Reindeer fly over the perimeter and not through the Gates.)

>>> Santa went to get the Reindeer food (Dog Food) when he noticed his boots squeaked. The Book Scared Santa when he saw the Book and realized he was on the Base. (Reindeer fly over the perimeter and not through the Gates.) The Oil was used by Santa to stop the squeak in his boots. So he could get out undetected.

== Exhibit B ] Milk -- near head- Top/Lt
The Milk ring is higher than the milk left in the glass but there is no milk residue near the rim which suggests that the glass was jarred. Santa appeared to have never had the milk or cookies.


*** Conclusion: Santa slipped and fell on the oil on his boots. He jarred the milk glass when he fell.
The cause of Death was the fall. The position of his bag - flung back out over his head - looks like he fell backwards. This is further substantiated by the angles of his legs and feet - look like they when out in front of him as if he fell back.

Megan said...

Wow - I am on pins and needles to find out what really happened. All I know is that the late night Papa John's would have killed me so I'll have to go with that.

Kevin and Amy said...

I hate this feeling...this "I'm too overwhelmed with admiration to come up with something at all suitable to write" feeling. That Jim...he is something else!!! The two of you, who I fondly refer to as Team Grube, are really fabulous. It's not often that people weave murder into a Christmas celebration, but even less often that they do it with a tape outline on their very own floor! We did a murder mystery puzzle for Christmas, but it was nothing compared to this. Frankly, I think it was one of the insane Texas tarantulas that got Santa, but what do I know.

Also...my stomach is doing a lot of little flips and my fingers are having a difficult time typing because I'm so filled with adrenaline...but you left a message at my blog that has me a little giddy...I will stay tuned...

boqpod said...

Abject consumerism.

That's what killed the cult of Santa! Abject consumerism.

Mechanization, industrial science, distribution logistics (such as overnight-mail & pizza delivery)...even Billy Budd, suffused with innocence, good looks, good health & love of life was hung from the yardarm of the Rights of Man according to the naval code of uniform justice.

If the noble mongrel can be domesticated, stripped of its innate drive to taste freshly slain bunny-flesh by the virtually bottomless bowl of uniformly shape-hardened kibble...if fields of peanuts can be magically processed to fit into a plastic gallon jug...if man-made mortar & kiln-fired bricks can lift man to dwell with God...then there's no limit to the marvel of technology (so the modern myth goes) to rend the human spirit of its hope for the silent hero who seeks no glory, who seeks no compensation but who spends himself, gliding stealthily under the cover of the year's longest night, muted by snow & snowfall, to foster into the collective conscience of the world's children the hope that goodness may be rewarded or that on one night of suspended justice, mercy triumphs. Enacting an eternal reality into the temporal sphere; only darkly mirroring the glory of the One (and his Gifts-Son & Spirit) who alone sees the heart & who has tasted temptation, even to the point of death, yet obeyed.

Surely there was no evidence of struggle or resistance at the crime scene.

You guys have inspired me. I'm clicking over to post a story on my blog...thanks! :)

greg. said...

wow. i have nothing remotely intelligent to add to this, but i simply want to say "wow." you guys are the best, and it makes me wish we lived closer together so that i could be endlessly entertained by your antics. any by "your" i probably mean "jim's." great creativity. great execution. great memory. great christmas. great story. thanks for sharing. hope your new year is as fun and mysterious.

LifeAtTheCircus said...

I left the crime solving up to my hubby on this one, but I keep coming back eager to hear Jim's explanation of what led to Santa's demise!! (hint hint...)

mrsbuckett said...

I absolutely LOVE this post! I think I could read it every day! I look forward to the next post. Hopefully I will post something soon too. :)

Sarah said...

just checking in from Meghan's blog and wanted to tell you that this post was great! I loved the taped up dead santa...how creative!